I buy magazines. Lots of them. And predictably they lie on my kitchen table for weeks on end until I finally get around to reading them. At which point I’m always
not in the slightest bit surprised to discover headlines such as ‘Posh’s Divorce Shock’ are entirely false.
Anyway, today I decided it was time for a gossip glut, so I dived right in, learning more about the Kardashians than I could ever want to know, from errant boyfriends (Kourtney) and divorce woes (Kim) to baby making (Khloe).
However, the real bonus was discovering a Chinese 2012 horoscope. I mean I knew the new year had rolled over some weeks ago, but I figured there was still plenty of (hopefully) good luck coming my way.
First though, I had to learn about which animals tallied up with which year. And I have to say I was mildly disappointed with what I found. I mean, why would you reach for a dog or a cat when you could flag a peacock or a bald eagle? Or even a tarantula. But since the creatures are seemingly set in stone, I decided to get on with it. And here’s what the signs boil down to, bearing in mind they don’t match to the exact calendar year.
* Dog – 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006
* Pig – 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007
* Rat – 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008
* Ox – 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009
* Tiger – 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010
* Cat – 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011
* Dragon – 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012
* Snake – 1977, 1989, 2001
* Horse – 1978, 1990, 2002
* Goat – 1979, 1991, 2003
* Monkey – 1980, 1992, 2004
* Rooster – 1981, 1993, 2005
For the record I am an ox, whose traits apparently include determination, strong will and finding comfort in the home, a couch or a good DVD. So far so good. But sadly I can look forward to career upheaval, new romantic prospects and more exercise in the next 12 months. Think I’ll stick with what Libra has to say …